Raising children in Germany

I have to say, I am a bit worried about German children.  Below I will give three main points on why we all should have cause for concern about the little Deutschers.

1.    Let me start with a little story.  Our friends Laura and Eddie were watching our dogs back when they lived here, and Eddie wanted to let the girls run around off-leash.  As he doesn’t know them well enough to trust them free just anywhere (smart man), he had the idea to take them to a fenced-in playground.  Yes, this is against the rules here in Germany. No, Eddie didn’t know it.  Lucky for all of us he was soon educated on the rule by a rule-abiding German.  You see, you might think that the bans on dogs in the play areas are due to kids crawling through poo, or ticks, or something along those lines.  But nope.  Eddie was told by this nice German that it is because, ‘die Kinder essen die Poopen’, aka, the kids EAT the poop.  What?!?!  I am pretty sure once I was old enough to walk around my own on a playground, I wasn’t grabbing dog shit and eating it (I am assuming the real little ones simply sit where they are put, not saying I ate the poo in my pre-mobility days).  But apparently this is a large concern for German children.  

2.    Next - found at Ikea.  When buying some under-bed storage containers, this sticker was attached to it.  What? I can’t store my small baby under the bed with my extra quilts and sheets?  What kind of country is this to limit my freedom like that?  Though seriously, it always is disconcerting that these warnings have to be on products, but I guess there are always people in the world that need to be told. 

3.    My favorite for last – the Babystation that is simply a microwave.  WHAT IS GOING ON HERE????  This is from the Pasing Arcaden (a mall nearby) food court.  Do Germans microwave their babies so often, they need public places to do this when they are away from home? 

So sure, Germans get Elterngeld (extra money just for having kids), and a year paid maternity leave, but do you really want to have a kid in Germany who eats poop, has to be worried about getting stored under the bed, and who you have to microwave on a regular basis?